


Five Things (Starsky/Hutch edition)

by rosa_himmelblau



Series: Fives [1]
Category: Starsky & Hutch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 14:24:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20083693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosa_himmelblau/pseuds/rosa_himmelblau
Summary: If they couldn't be cops, once they sat down and thought about it seriously.





	Five Things (Starsky/Hutch edition)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Carbonel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carbonel/gifts).

"But Hutch, we're always cops! We're—we're—what's the word I'm looking for?"

Hutch frowned. "How should I know what word you're looking for?"

"Icons! We're cop icons! You 'n' me 'n' the Torino—"

"Oh, please. C'm'on, Starsk, everything changes. We have to do something else. Something serious. We can't be porn stars."

"OK, what about PI's? You'd look good in a trench coat, and I do a great Bogart impression—"

"Those are not serious reasons! And your Bogart impression stinks," he added under his breath.

"We were cops for years, we could be PI's and open our own office. I'd even let you have top billing for a change."

The offer touched Hutch, and he wrote it on the top line of his notebook: Hutchinson and Starsky, Confidential Investigations. "That's good. Now what else have you got?"

"Well, it's hard, running your own business, carrying your own health insurance, stuff like that. So what about insurance investigation? I bet we'd be great at that."

Hutch did not mention that Starsky always thought they'd be great at everything, that if landmine-sweeping was the occupation suggested, he'd think they'd be great at **that,** too. But insurance investigation did sound like something they could do, so he wrote that down.

"I had an idea that has nothing to do with investigating other people's lives," Hutch said.

"Oh, yeah? What's that?"

"Teaching. Grade school, I think, would be best."

"Hutch," Starsky sighed. "I'm not—"

"Now hear me out. The real key to teaching is to get the kids' attention and respect. You could do that, and I think I could, too. We'd both have to get a little more education, but I think it would be great for both of us. And maybe we'd be able to head off some of the crime we see, instead of cleaning it up after the fact."

Starsky thought about it for a moment before telling Hutch to add it to his list. "You got any other ideas?"

"One. And I want you to really think about it before you say anything. What about writing murder mysteries? We were homicide detectives for years, we know all the inside stuff readers like to read about, and you're always filling your report with stuff Dobey says belongs in a novel. That way we could really be partners," he added.

"You want top billing again?" Starsky said, and Hutch shook his head.

"Doesn't matter to me. Have you got anything else?"

Starsky didn't answer.

"Starsk?"

"I think we should call our first book _The Case of the Deadly Imposters._"

"Starsky," Hutch said patiently, "we don't have five things on our list yet."

"We're gonna need day jobs," Starsky said dreamily, "to tide us over, 'til the royalties start pouring in. I really could get a job teaching dancing—Ginger said—"

"Cop icons do not teach dancing," Hutch said severely.

"Yeah, and I don't know what you'd be doing while I was cha-cha-ing my days away. What'll we do if we can't come up with five different possible occupations?"

Hutch shook his head. "We'll just have to be very charming about the way we present the four we do have."

"Hey, that's no problem. I'm very charming, and you—well, look at you!"


End file.
